{"id":9961,"date":"2019-01-29T10:30:41","date_gmt":"2019-01-29T15:30:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/?p=9961"},"modified":"2020-08-25T15:26:08","modified_gmt":"2020-08-25T19:26:08","slug":"how-to-put-a-stop-to-gossip","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/how-to-put-a-stop-to-gossip\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Put a Stop to Gossip"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Wondering<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, the words \u201cgossip\u201d and \u201cwomen\u201d are often viewed as inseparable.\u00a0<\/p>\n

When a church offers \u201cwomen\u2019s ministry,\u201d gossip is often an unwanted by-product whether or not we witness it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

A recent survey<\/a> I conducted of women\u2019s ministry experiences resulted in a staggering number of comments about gossip. Here are just a few of those comments.<\/p>\n

\u201cI haven\u2019t found one with mature women that don\u2019t use it as a tool to gossip\/do other damage.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cMany turn into just gossip events, no agenda.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cToo much gossip!!!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI recently resigned my position as Women’s ministry director at my church. The women are not interested in doing anything but go out to lunch and gossip about other women in <\/em>church.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think we always realize what a rampant problem gossip has become at our women\u2019s ministry events and activities.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pastors often joke in the pulpit about gossip masked as a prayer request, but the survey comments point to something much deeper.<\/p>\n

We are in a spiritual battle, and our enemy knows one of the best ways to cause discord is to use our own words to gossip about others.<\/h3>\n

Gossip results in broken relationships, destroys trust, and creates an environment filled with suspicion.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If I open up and share about \u201cx,\u201d I don\u2019t know who might talk about it.<\/p>\n

We must protect our women and our ministry<\/strong> by doing all we can to put a stop to gossip.<\/p>\n

The list below includes some ideas you\u2019re likely already putting into practice, but I hope it will give you some fresh inspiration to be even more intentional in your efforts.<\/p>\n

10 Ways to Put a Stop to Gossip<\/h3>\n

1. Interrupt and stop gossip in its tracks.<\/h4>\n

Interrupting gossip is not only okay, but it is also necessary. You may want to say \u201cI\u2019m sorry, but whether or not that is true, we have no business sharing that information with others.\u201d Or \u201cI apologize for interrupting you, but does Tess know you\u2019re sharing this?\u201d<\/p>\n

2. Train your leaders to be prepared to stop gossip in its tracks.<\/h4>\n

Do some role-playing, so they have some practice and feel more prepared.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0Teach about the power of our words.<\/h4>\n

If the Lord leads, focus an entire Bible study, event, or retreat on words \u2013 the Word of God, our words, the power of words, gossip, etc. Highlight verses about gossip.<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0Set up guidelines.<\/h4>\n

Put covenants and discussion group guidelines<\/a> into place that specifically express a \u201cno gossip\u201d policy. Remind the group of these guidelines regularly.<\/p>\n

5.\u00a0Be intentional in the collection of prayer requests.<\/h4>\n

Have a list of prayer request guidelines for your group. Teach them to frame their request to be personal requests and not so specific. For example, please pray for me as I minister a neighbor that is going through a difficult time. Collect prayer requests<\/a> on note cards or a spreadsheet to remove the opportunity to share the details. Re-word prayer requests or omit details when emailing them out to the group.<\/p>\n

6. Use humor.<\/h4>\n

When done well and in the right context you may be able to joke \u201cI\u2019m sure I didn\u2019t just hear some gossiping going on in this corner.\u201d<\/p>\n

7.\u00a0Encourage a spirit of sisterhood and unity.<\/h4>\n

Cultivate a community where your women protect one another and don\u2019t tolerate gossip about one another.<\/p>\n

8.\u00a0Stop, drop, and pray.<\/h4>\n

Lead an intentional prayer out loud with the offender\/group to pray for the one being gossiped about without spreading the gossip. \u201cLord, you know the details, and we ask that you be with Fran and protect her and her family from any gossip. Lord help us to be supportive and to pray for her, keeping her confidence and not sharing the details with any others, not even as a prayer request.\u201d<\/p>\n

9. Choose a different chair or group to sit with.<\/h4>\n

Don\u2019t offer a listening ear. Ask the perpetrator why are they telling you this? If they respond that they thought you\u2019d want to know, let them know you don\u2019t. If you\u2019re feeling bold, let them know, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, I don\u2019t want to hear about that situation. It\u2019s not our business.”<\/p>\n

10. Offer up a verse from the Bible.<\/h4>\n

Say something along this lines of, \u201cI\u2019ve recently memorized Ephesians 4:29 which says \u201cDo not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen\u201d, and I\u2019ve been really convicted about saying only positive things about others. Could we please change the subject?\u201d<\/p>\n

What God\u2019s Word Says about Gossip<\/h3>\n

Leviticus 19:16<\/a>: \u201cDo not go about spreading slander among your people. Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor\u2019s life. I am the Lord.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ephesians 4:29<\/a>, the Bible urges: \u201cDo not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.\u201d<\/p>\n

Matthew 12:36-37<\/a> that \u201c\u2026on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.\u201d<\/p>\n

Listening to gossip is like eating cheap candy; do you really want junk like that in your belly?\u201d (Proverbs 18:8<\/a>, MSG)<\/p>\n

As leaders, we must be bold to root out any evil that seeps into our women\u2019s ministry events and activities.<\/h4>\n

We must create safe spaces for women to share, repent, receive godly counsel, and begin healing<\/strong>. If women suspect what they share will be circulated, they won\u2019t share.<\/p>\n

Lord, give us eyes to see and ears to hear when gossip creeps into our women\u2019s ministry events and activities. Give us discernment and boldness in how best to handle incidents of gossip when they occur. Grow in our women a desire for unity. Convict all of us when our words turn from concern into gossip. May the words of our mouths and the meditations our hearts, be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, our strength, and our Redeemer<\/em> (Psalm 19:14<\/a>).<\/p>\n

What other tips do you have to put a stop to gossip?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

You may also want to read:<\/strong>
\nHow to Love on Women Wounded by the Church<\/a>
\nWomen\u2019s Ministry Training Ideas<\/a>
\n10 Ways We Unknowingly Hurt Women in Our Church<\/a>
\nPrayer Warrior Boot Camp for Groups<\/a>
\nGathering Prayer Requests<\/a><\/p>\n

One year ago:<\/strong> Episode 5 – Gather and Glean: Publicity Mistakes<\/a>
\nTwo years ago:<\/strong> How to Minister to Angry Women<\/a>
\nThree years ago:<\/strong> My Favorite Bible Study Resources<\/a>
\nFour years ago:<\/strong> Women’s Ministry Team Job Descriptions – Part 1<\/a>
\nFive years ago:<\/strong> 10 Sweetheart Banquet Ideas<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Unfortunately, the words \u201cgossip\u201d and \u201cwomen\u201d are often viewed as inseparable.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9962,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[158,579],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9961","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-leadership-resources","category-leadership"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Put a Stop to Gossip - Women's Ministry Toolbox<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Gossip shouldn't define your women's ministry or it's reputation. 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