{"id":9273,"date":"2018-05-29T10:00:50","date_gmt":"2018-05-29T14:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/?p=9273"},"modified":"2021-03-12T13:34:28","modified_gmt":"2021-03-12T18:34:28","slug":"tips-for-resolving-conflict","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/tips-for-resolving-conflict\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Tips for Resolving Conflict"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"Check<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Today I’ve invited Kelly Rader to share 10 Tips for Resolving Conflicts. Kelly has some great advice for dealing with conflicts in a Biblical manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hate conflict! When conflicts come my first inclination is to bury my head in the sand like an ostrich and hope it all just blows over. If the conflict is my fault, I often obsess about what the other person might be thinking, or what I should have said or not said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My husband and I are empty nesters now and it is much harder to take the ostrich approach. The house is just too quiet if he and I aren\u2019t getting along, and in our small house, there aren\u2019t many places I can go to avoid him. I\u2019ve decided to take a better approach to dealing with conflict in a godly way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What Causes Conflict?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

The bible says in James 4:1 \u201cWhat causes fights and quarrels among you? Don\u2019t they come from your desires that battle within you?\u201d Our desires include our values, perceptions, ideas, wants or motivations. Conflicts arise when our desires conflict with those of others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How Should Christians Deal with Conflict?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Jesus dealt with many conflicts during his 33 years on earth. In conflict, Jesus was consistent with His nature of love, He told the truth in love. When speaking to the Pharisees, the strong language Jesus used was not meant to shame them but served as an invitation for them to see the error of their ways, and to follow Him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Isn\u2019t Speaking God\u2019s Truth Being Judgemental of Others?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our culture has bought the lie that if you disagree with someone, you are rejecting or hating the person. This could not be further from the truth. We can disagree with someone\u2019s actions or behavior, while still loving or caring about the person. The truth is, that when we love or care about someone, we want the best for them. If we didn\u2019t care about someone, it would be easier to say nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The next time you are involved in a conflict, try these conflict resolution tips \u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10 Conflict Resolution Tips<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
1. Take it to God First<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Talk to God about the conflict and what you are feeling. Ask God for wisdom to identify what is going on inside you, and how to proceed. Seek to identify if the current conflict has triggered in you a hurt from the past. If so, you may need to seek help from a professional counselor to help you identify and deal with the past hurt, before you can address the current issue. Pray for the other person or persons involved (it\u2019s hard to be mad at someone when you are praying for them).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Pay attention to your feelings<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Feelings are not right or wrong. They are neutral. Feelings are indicators that something is wrong, needs fixing or addressing. While anger is often the first emotion experienced in conflict, we can\u2019t stay there. The bible says \u201cIn your anger do not sin\u201d Eph. 4:26 NIV<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Seek to control your emotions and behavior<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

In the heat of the conflict, stop to take a few deep breaths. While anger may alert us to address a problem, anger must lead to calm, helpful action. It has been proven that when we are angry our IQ decreases. This explains why people often do or say unintelligent things when acting in anger. Be smart, stay calm! \u201cGet rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.\u201d Ephesians 4:31 NIV<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Practice what you might say to the person<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

If appropriate, pause the conversation and take time to think about what you need to say before responding. Book a time to talk, after you\u2019ve had time to process. Practice what you\u2019d like to say on a friend or your spouse without breaking confidences. Seek to communicate clearly and effectively. Speak in a calm tone, in words and language the other person relates to. For example, some people relate best to the bottom line, word pictures, in their love language etc. \u201cThere is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health.\u201d Proverbs 12:18 NKJ<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Seek to communicate clearly and effectively<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Speak in a calm tone, in words and language the other person relates to. For example, some people relate best to the bottom line, word pictures, in their love language etc. \u201cThere is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health.\u201d Proverbs 12:18 NKJ<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Listen for what is felt and said (seek to identify the real issue)<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Listen for the heart of what the other person is saying. Remember that the issue is the problem, the other person is not the problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Keep short accounts<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Address the issue with the person as soon as possible. Undealt with conflicts can result in bitterness, broken relationships, and stress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. Pick your battles<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Know when to speak up. If you have already talked through an issue with the same person many times, you may need to stop talking and just take it to prayer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. Know when to let it go<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

When you are having conversations in your head with other person, it is time to let it go. When you have done everything you can to live at peace with someone, and the issue is still unresolved, place the issue in God\u2019s hands and leave it there until He instructs you to take the next step.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. Be willing to forgive<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

The bible says, \u201cIf it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.\u201d Romans 12:18 NIV Sometimes it is better to be good than to be right.Don\u2019t let conflicts fester. Do your part and then turn the conflict over to God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Kelly Rader is the founder of Defining Purpose. She has been involved in women\u2019s ministry her whole adult life and loves it! She is passionate about encouraging women to live out their calling and passion, to make a difference in their churches and communities, and to make this world a better place! She has been a wife to Dave for 27 years and a mom for 25 years. She loves family!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One year ago: Summer Reads<\/a>
Two years ago: How to Host an Operation Christmas Child Packing Party<\/a>
Three years ago: The Next Big Thing in Women\u2019s Ministry<\/a>
Four years ago: 10 Reasons to Host a Summer Event<\/a>
Five years ago: Fellowship Idea: Coffee, Cake, and Comedy Night<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today I’ve invited Kelly Rader to share 10 Tips for Resolving Conflicts. Kelly has some great advice for dealing with conflicts in a Biblical manner. I hate conflict! When conflicts come my first inclination is to bury my head in the sand like an ostrich and hope it all just blows over. If the conflict…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9274,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[158],"tags":[518],"class_list":["post-9273","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-leadership-resources","tag-conflict"],"yoast_head":"\n10 Tips for Resolving Conflict - Women's Ministry Toolbox<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are you prepared for conflict among your team? Are you looking for ways to Biblically handle conflict when it occurs? 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