{"id":5742,"date":"2016-03-15T10:00:41","date_gmt":"2016-03-15T14:00:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/?p=5742"},"modified":"2020-08-25T17:01:05","modified_gmt":"2020-08-25T21:01:05","slug":"dominating-team-group-member","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/dominating-team-group-member\/","title":{"rendered":"What to Do With a Dominating Team or Group Member"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"What<\/p>\n

I tried to stifle my sigh and mask my aggravation when Sally (not her real name)<\/em> once again took over the conversation in our Bible study.<\/p>\n

While Sally often had great insight and stories to share, week after week after week she had dominated our Bible study group conversation.<\/p>\n

If there was a quiet moment she jumped in, often changing the topic or direction of our discussion.<\/p>\n

My heart ached of our Bible study leader, the new ladies in our Bible study group, and those quieter personalities that needed time and space to share.<\/p>\n

My bet is you\u2019ve also sat in a Bible study or team meeting where someone frequently dominated the conversation<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately it only takes one person to derail the conversation and get the whole group off task. Squirrel?<\/p>\n

While I doubt (and I pray) their intention is not to be disruptive or disrespectful, if left unchecked that person can damage the progress and purpose of the group<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

If you notice someone is continually:<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Interrupting<\/strong><\/li>\n
  2. Dominating<\/strong><\/li>\n
  3. Changing the topic<\/strong><\/li>\n
  4. Getting stuck on a point or topic<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    You\u2019re likely going to need to step in and take back control of the group.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    For most of us that doesn\u2019t come naturally.<\/p>\n

    What do you do? What can you say to get refocus your group?<\/p>\n

    \"What<\/p>\n

    What to do and what to say when your team or group has gotten off task:<\/strong><\/p>\n

    1.\u00a0Apologize<\/strong> \u2013 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, our time is short, we must move on.\u201d \u201cWhile I wish we could park here, we need to keep moving to get through all of our discussion questions\/agenda items.\u201d<\/p>\n

    2. Ask others to speak up<\/strong> \u2013 \u201cI\u2019d like to hear from someone who hasn\u2019t answered\/spoken yet.\u201d \u201cLet\u2019s hear from someone on this side of the room.\u201d \u201cKatie, what do you have for number 5?\u201d<\/p>\n

    3. Take a defensive position<\/strong> \u2013 Literally sit right next to the person in the group that has been over-participating. Sometimes a simple touch on their arm can let them know they\u2019ve gone on long enough. You may need to turn sideways so your back is facing them and then ask the question to the rest of the group.<\/p>\n

    4. Blame it on the clock<\/strong> \u2013 \u201cWe\u2019ve only got 15 minutes left. We\u2019ve got to move on so we\u2019ll finish on time.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m sorry, but if we\u2019re going to finish by 11:30, we\u2019ll have to move on.\u201d<\/p>\n

    5. Continue the conversation after<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 \u201cThat\u2019s a great question\/idea\/concern I\u2019d love to talk with you about it after class\/our meeting.\u201d<\/p>\n

    \"Left<\/p>\n

    6. Before your group\/meeting begins remind them of one or two of your group rules\/guidelines.<\/strong> \u201cPlease help me to keep our group on track today so we can get through all of our discussion questions\/agenda items.\u201d \u201cI\u2019d like to hear from everyone in our group today. Remember that silence is okay \u2013 it gives everyone time to form and share their opinions and ideas.\u201d “While we won’t have time for everyone to share an answer to every question, I do want to hear from everyone in our group before our time is over.”<\/p>\n

    7. Hold a one-on-one training session<\/strong> \u2013 Sometimes group members aren\u2019t aware their behavior is a problem. Touch base via a phone call or over coffee. Ask them how they feel the group is going. If they don\u2019t bring up any of the issues on their own, gently share your concern that others in the group aren\u2019t sharing or participating as much as they could. Enlist their help in getting better group participation. Brainstorm specific ideas on how they could help (letting others answer before sharing, withholding their comments, verbally encouraging others in the group to share, limiting the number of times they respond, pre-selecting a few questions to answer, etc.).<\/p>\n

    Chances are just one comment won\u2019t be enough to keep the group on task.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

    Be ready to step in repeatedly to refocus the group.<\/p>\n

    The more you do it the easier it becomes and the more natural it will feel.<\/p>\n

    All that being said, we must be attentive to the Holy Spirit.<\/p>\n

    There are definitely times when God intercedes and life changing sharing takes place.<\/p>\n

    However, that deeper level of transparency is most likely to take place in a group where every woman feels comfortable sharing and knows they\u2019ll be heard.<\/p>\n

    What other tips do you have for dealing with a dominating group member?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

    Father God, open our eyes to see those in our groups that are\u00a0getting our group off task. Help us to be kind and gracious in\u00a0refocusing our group. Help us to have the courage to remind and re-train our groups and teams\u00a0when things have gotten out of control. May the women in our groups grow to love and respect one another. Help us, Jesus, as we seek to be good leaders. INJIP<\/em><\/p>\n

    You may also want to read:<\/strong>
    \nThe One Thing Every Group Leader\u00a0Needs to Learn
    \n<\/a>    Two Ways You Can Encourage Group Discussion
    \n<\/a>    A\u00a0Code of Conduct for Small Groups<\/a>
    \n    Tips & Tools for Bible Study Facilitators and Group Leaders<\/a><\/p>\n

    One year ago:<\/strong> How to Plan a DIY Spa Event<\/a>
    \nTwo years ago:<\/strong> I    cebreaker Game: What’s inside your car? (Scavenger Hunt)<\/a><\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

    \"Subscribe<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I tried to stifle my sigh and mask my aggravation when Sally (not her real name) once again took over the conversation in our Bible study. While Sally often had great insight and stories to share, week after week after week she had dominated our Bible study group conversation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5745,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,584],"tags":[68,316,76],"class_list":["post-5742","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-biblestudies","category-teams","tag-bible-studies","tag-group-dynamics","tag-training-2"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat to Do With a Dominating Team or Group Member - Women's Ministry Toolbox<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/dominating-team-group-member\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What to Do With a Dominating Team or Group Member - Women's Ministry Toolbox\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I tried to stifle my sigh and mask my aggravation when Sally (not her real name) once again took over the conversation in our Bible study. 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