{"id":14483,"date":"2023-09-27T03:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-09-27T07:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/?p=14483"},"modified":"2023-09-25T12:31:06","modified_gmt":"2023-09-25T16:31:06","slug":"rethinking-christmas-traditions-an-honest-discussion-about-gift-exchange-games","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/rethinking-christmas-traditions-an-honest-discussion-about-gift-exchange-games\/","title":{"rendered":"Rethinking Christmas Traditions: An Honest Discussion About Gift Exchange Games"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Rethinking-Christmas-Traditions-An-Honest-Discussion-About-Gift-Exchange-Games.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"900\" src=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Rethinking-Christmas-Traditions-An-Honest-Discussion-About-Gift-Exchange-Games.png\" alt=\"Should we play Christmas gift exchange games? This post unpacks the 4 main problems with gift exchange games and offers alternative solutions.\" class=\"wp-image-14486\" srcset=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Rethinking-Christmas-Traditions-An-Honest-Discussion-About-Gift-Exchange-Games.png 600w, https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Rethinking-Christmas-Traditions-An-Honest-Discussion-About-Gift-Exchange-Games-200x300.png 200w, https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Rethinking-Christmas-Traditions-An-Honest-Discussion-About-Gift-Exchange-Games-400x600.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Below you&#8217;ll find the show notes for episode 72, Rethinking Christmas Traditions: An Honest Discussion About Gift Exchange Games, from the\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/podcast\/\">Women&#8217;s Ministry Toolbox Podcast<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div id=\"buzzsprout-player-13655508\"><\/div><script src=\"https:\/\/www.buzzsprout.com\/1675771\/13655508-ep-72-should-we-play-christmas-exchange-games.js?container_id=buzzsprout-player-13655508&#038;player=small\" type=\"text\/javascript\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:13px\">Please note: This post may contain affiliate links.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Rethinking Christmas Traditions: An Honest Discussion About Gift Exchange Games<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>In the last post <a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/\">(here)<\/a>, I discussed the challenges, solutions, and alternatives for secret sister programs. The feedback I\u2019ve received has solidified my stance. I heard from many leaders who have had to deal with hurt feelings, extravagant gift-giving, envy, and women who sign up but don\u2019t participate. These are not isolated problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This post topic is in many ways similar&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What is a Christmas gift exchange game?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Christmas will be here before you know it and church groups will play Christmas gift exchange games. You might call them a <strong>Yankee gift swap<\/strong>, <strong>dirty Santa<\/strong>, or <strong>white elephant<\/strong> gift exchange. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some groups regift unwanted gifts, some do gag gifts, and some set a spending limit of $5, $10, or $20. <strong>Most of the time a game is played where participants choose a wrapped gift, they unwrap it, but then it can be stolen by other people in the group.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Much like Secret Sister, some women love these types of activities and others don\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You probably have an opinion one way or the other. No matter which side you support, I\u2019d like to ask you to read this post all the way through. <em>There may be an angle you haven\u2019t considered before. <\/em>Maybe you\u2019ll decide there are better things you could do at your small group, Bible study, or women\u2019s ministry Christmas fellowship this year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>First, I want to walk through some of the concerns, then I\u2019ll share some feedback from other women, and I\u2019ll wrap things up with some alternative ideas.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">4 Problems with Gift Exchange Games<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>To be clear, I\u2019m specifically addressing games that include the option to take a gift from another person \u2013 whether that\u2019s by the roll of a dice or a personal choice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\" type=\"1\">\n<li><strong>There\u2019s a high risk that someone will not be happy with the gift they take home. <\/strong>Even if the gifts exchanged are nice gifts, there\u2019s a good chance someone will be upset that something they like was taken from them. There\u2019s also a good chance there will be some <strong>envy or jealousy surrounding a popular gift<\/strong>. When I\u2019ve participated there\u2019s often one or two gifts that stand out above the rest that almost everyone hopes to go home with.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Friendships can fracture when one friend takes a gift from another friend.<\/strong> I remember years ago at our mom&#8217;s group Christmas gift swap (one with used items) there was a plastic electric train set. I can still remember the names and faces of the two women who were involved in this swap. They were good friends, <em>but not that night<\/em>. One took the train from the other and she was literally in tears. What was supposed to be a happy and fun Christmas party no longer was. Everyone in the room witnessed the hurt. I couldn\u2019t believe the train set wasn\u2019t returned out of kindness.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Gag gifts can cause a great deal of embarrassment.<\/strong> Even at a church event, people don\u2019t always understand what\u2019s appropriate. Most people don\u2019t enjoy being the butt of a joke and even if it appears they do \u2013 <em>do they really?<\/em> <strong>We should be sensitive not to make our women uncomfortable.<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Stealing is wrong.<\/strong> Exodus 20:15 says, \u201cYou shall not steal.\u201d Hang with me here, I know some of you think I\u2019m being extreme. In my Introduction to Christian Ethics class this summer, we learned about how conduct, character, and goals matter. Our professor and book pointed out that an argument could be made that stealing in a game situation would not be a violation of the 8<sup>th<\/sup> commandment. Basketball, football, and soccer are all great examples. If we<strong> consider the conduct, character, and goal<\/strong> of a Christmas gift exchange, I see a difference. <strong>Players are encouraged to put their wants first and to take what they want from someone else no matter the impact.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Whether the goal is stealing gifts to get the best gift or trying to end up with the best of the gag gifts, neither approach glorifies God. &nbsp;<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Back in 2014, I shared most of these same concerns in a blog post (<a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/white-elephant-exchanges\/\">you can see it here<\/a>). I think I\u2019ve received more comments on this one post than any other. I\u2019ve clearly struck a chord.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are just some of the comments:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI have never seen one where I did not witness or experience some kind of, if not hurt feelings, then at least letdown.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI completely get the feeling hurt during these games. We used to play them all the time at church leadership events (several different churches) and I can\u2019t tell you how many times I have been hurt, taken home a nasty gift, or ended up with the same gift I brought because I refused to steal from someone else but people always stole from me. People have commented that no one ever gets hurt or people that do, spoil it for everyone else. I can tell you I hid it very well and no one at the party ever knew how hurt my heart was by the way I was treated or how embarrassed I was by some of the actions of others during the games. I remember going home and crying afterward and the hurt lingers in my heart whenever I think about playing these games again\u2026I would never want someone to leave my party feeling the way I have after some of those experiences. It\u2019s not about how mature they are, it\u2019s about loving one another as Christ loved us. I want every person who enters my house to feel the love of Christ while there.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWow! Are we really going to sulk and be jealous because someone got something we wanted or something nicer than us? Good practice of being happy for those who have something that we don\u2019t. What about the commandment not to covet?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t necessarily feel convicted about the stealing part, but it just seems mean-spirited and anti-Christmas to me. Competing and stealing to make sure I GET the best gift. We do it every year at my family gathering and I\u2019m pretty sure I\u2019ve cried ahead of time every year just because I hate it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cJust attended a gift exchange party where somebody got stuck with a soiled Santa garden gnome wrapped in a garbage bag. The lady accepted it graciously without grumbling. This speaks volumes about her heart. However, I don\u2019t think Jesus would have brought a gift like this to the party. Let\u2019s give what we would want to receive without embarrassing others. It isn\u2019t funny or Christ-like. Let\u2019s also practice the attitude of gratitude.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While there were comments from both sides, <strong>those expressing hurt far outnumbered<\/strong> those who thought I was being overly sensitive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Games that undermine the unity of our groups or have the potential to hurt the feelings of our women have no place in our ministries.<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Please consider one of these alternative ideas instead:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">10 Alternatives to Dirty Santa Games<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\" type=\"1\">\n<li><strong>Give gifts to your homebound members<\/strong>, local nursing home, or women\u2019s shelter.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ask everyone to <strong>bring a $5 gift<\/strong> and use the <a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/christmas-left-right-game\/\">Left-Right Christmas Story<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/left-right-nativity-game\/\">Left Right Nativity Story <\/a>to distribute the gifts. <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ask everyone to <strong>bring a $5 ornament <\/strong>and have an <a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/ornament-exchange\/\">ornament exchange<\/a>.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Give the gift of time and <strong>volunteer together<\/strong> at a local food pantry, shelter, or Ronald McDonald House.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Decorate Christmas cookies or cupcakes<\/strong> to take to the local hospital for the doctors, nurses, and staff.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Plan a Christmas party<\/strong> for your local Women\u2019s shelter or children\u2019s home.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Adopt children in need from a local school. <\/strong>Spend the night wrapping their gifts and writing our Christmas cards to them.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Send packages overseas<\/strong> to men and women serving in the military.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Bless a <strong>missionary<\/strong> with a <strong>care package<\/strong> and Christmas cards.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Assemble the <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/the-gift-of-no-dishes-free-printable\/\">Gift of No Dishes<\/a><\/strong> together as an outreach into each woman\u2019s neighborhood.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019ll find additional <a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/creative-christmas-event-ideas-for-your-womens-ministry\/\">Christmas event ideas<\/a> here and <a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/how-to-host-a-gift-exchange\/\">Gift Exchange Ideas here<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Today\u2019s Toolbox Task:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\" type=\"1\">\n<li>If your team was planning to have a Christmas gift exchange, <strong>talk through how you can ensure the exchange honors the feelings of all of your women<\/strong>.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Prayerfully consider removing gift stealing from your exchange<\/strong> or swap the game out for an alternative idea.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Christmas events should be a time of fun and fellowship, with a focus on Christ\u2019s birth. I pray your Christmas celebrations will honor God and honor your women.<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>You may want to read:<\/strong><br><a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/the-gift-of-no-dishes-free-printable\/\">The Gift of No Dishes<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/christmas-left-right-game\/\">Left Right Christmas Game<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/left-right-nativity-game\/\">Left Right Nativity Story<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/how-to-use-facebook-and-instagram-between-womens-ministry-meetings\/\">Creative Christmas Event Ideas<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/how-to-host-a-gift-exchange\/\">How to Host a Gift Exchange<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/gift-exchange-theme-ideas\/\">28 Gift Exchange Themes<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/the-best-christmas-gifts-and-games-for-your-womens-ministry\/\">The Best Christmas Gifts and Games for Your Women&#8217;s Ministry<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/favorite-christmas-icebreaker-games\/\">Christmas Icebreaker Games<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Below you&#8217;ll find the show notes for episode 72, Rethinking Christmas Traditions: An Honest Discussion About Gift Exchange Games, from the\u00a0Women&#8217;s Ministry Toolbox Podcast. Please note: This post may contain affiliate links. Rethinking Christmas Traditions: An Honest Discussion About Gift Exchange Games In the last post (here), I discussed the challenges, solutions, and alternatives for&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14486,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[65,409],"tags":[242,528,612],"class_list":["post-14483","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-christmas","category-christmas-events","tag-christmas","tag-christmas-games","tag-gift-exchange"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Rethinking Christmas Traditions: An Honest Discussion About Gift Exchange Games - Women&#039;s Ministry Toolbox<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Should we play Christmas gift exchange games? 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Ownbey","author_link":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/author\/womensministrytoolboxgmail-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":9,"uagb_excerpt":"Below you&#8217;ll find the show notes for episode 72, Rethinking Christmas Traditions: An Honest Discussion About Gift Exchange Games, from the\u00a0Women&#8217;s Ministry Toolbox Podcast. Please note: This post may contain affiliate links. Rethinking Christmas Traditions: An Honest Discussion About Gift Exchange Games In the last post (here), I discussed the challenges, solutions, and alternatives for&hellip;","coauthors":[],"tax_additional":{"categories":{"linked":["<a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/category\/icebreakers\/christmas\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Christmas<\/a>","<a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/category\/christmas-events\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Christmas Events<\/a>"],"unlinked":["<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Christmas<\/span>","<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Christmas Events<\/span>"]},"tags":{"linked":["<a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/category\/christmas-events\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Christmas<\/a>","<a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/category\/christmas-events\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">christmas games<\/a>","<a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/category\/christmas-events\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">gift exchange<\/a>"],"unlinked":["<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Christmas<\/span>","<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">christmas games<\/span>","<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">gift exchange<\/span>"]}},"comment_count":"4","relative_dates":{"created":"Posted 3 years ago","modified":"Updated 3 years ago"},"absolute_dates":{"created":"Posted on September 27, 2023","modified":"Updated on September 25, 2023"},"absolute_dates_time":{"created":"Posted on September 27, 2023 3:00 am","modified":"Updated on September 25, 2023 12:31 pm"},"featured_img_caption":"","series_order":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"mv":{"thumbnail_id":14486,"thumbnail_uri":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Rethinking-Christmas-Traditions-An-Honest-Discussion-About-Gift-Exchange-Games-200x300.png"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14483","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14483"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14483\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14489,"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14483\/revisions\/14489"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14486"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14483"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14483"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14483"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}