{"id":14461,"date":"2023-09-13T03:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-09-13T07:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/?p=14461"},"modified":"2026-01-11T13:57:26","modified_gmt":"2026-01-11T18:57:26","slug":"secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/","title":{"rendered":"Secret Sister Programs: Challenges, Solutions, and Alternatives"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"900\" src=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png\" alt=\"Is your secret sister program missing the mark? Let\u2019s talk about the challenges, solutions, and alternatives for secret sister programs so we can truly build community, encourage one another, and grow in Christ together!\" class=\"wp-image-14462\" srcset=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png 600w, https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives-200x300.png 200w, https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives-400x600.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Below you&#8217;ll find the show notes for episode 71, Secret Sister Programs: Challenges, Solutions, and Alternatives, from the <a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/podcast\/\">Women&#8217;s Ministry Toolbox Podcast<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div id=\"buzzsprout-player-13569946\"><\/div><script src=\"https:\/\/www.buzzsprout.com\/1675771\/13569946-ep-71-secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives.js?container_id=buzzsprout-player-13569946&#038;player=small\" type=\"text\/javascript\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:13px\">Please note: This post contains affiliate links.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m continuing the series on Hot Topics and Hot Takes with a hot take on secret sister programs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019ve read my book, <a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/4pCcUD8\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener sponsored nofollow\"><em>Women&#8217;s Ministry Essentials<\/em><\/a>, you may recall I shared about my failure to properly press pause on the secret sister program in the church I served in. My concerns with secret sister programs are not off the cuff. This is something I\u2019ve spent years thinking about&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Before I get to some of my concerns and some ideas for how we can improve secret sister programs, let\u2019s start by looking at what is a secret sister program and what\u2019s its purpose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What is a secret sister program?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Generally speaking, <strong>secret sister programs invite women to secretly encourage another woman in their church. Usually,<\/strong> one person assigns the sisters and keeps the list a secret for the duration of the program. Typically, these programs are scheduled for a year, sometimes less, with a celebration and reveal party at the end of the program. <strong>Women may send cards, pray for their secret sisters, and often give them small gifts. <\/strong>Many churches ask women to fill out a form about their <a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/a-few-of-my-favorite-things-icebreaker\/\">favorite things<\/a> so they can be surprised with things they\u2019ll enjoy. The purpose given is often building relationships and community.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>I admire the heart behind secret sister programs. <\/strong>Leaders see them as a way for women in their church to <strong>love one another.<\/strong> They may<strong> pray for one another and encourage one another<\/strong>. <em>This all sounds great, right? Why would I have wanted to pause our secret sister program?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What are some of the challenges with secret sister programs? <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are 7 issues I want to highlight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol style=\"list-style-type:1\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>The biggest problem with secret sister programs is not everyone completes the program<\/strong>. You may be doing a great job of loving your secret sister, but the woman assigned to you might not. Instead of feeling loved, you\u2019re feeling left out. <em>This happens more than you may think. Some of your women will never tell you when it does.<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>There\u2019s no on-ramp for new women. <\/strong>Whether the program lasts 6 months or a year, women who may want to join in can\u2019t and they end up feeling excluded. Instead of unity, you\u2019ve created a clique.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Hiding your identity doesn\u2019t build community.<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Finances often keep women from participating.<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>It often serves a small subset of your <a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/defining-your-target-audience\/\">target audience<\/a>.<\/strong> In our case at that church, all of the participants in our secret sister program were 50 and up. We knew we needed to make changes to reach younger women.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Secret sister programs usually only include women in the church. <strong>It\u2019s inward-focused, not outward-focused.<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Reveal parties exclude women who didn\u2019t participate. <\/strong>Even if you open it up to everyone, those who didn\u2019t participate find it awkward to attend. Reveal parties may also have a big impact on your women\u2019s ministry budget. In our specific case, a small number of participants had a budget of $300 for their reveal party, while other events and activities that were open to all women in the church had a much smaller budget if any budget at all.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Are there solutions for each one of these issues \u2013 absolutely! <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Before I dive into some solutions, I want to offer some questions your team may want to use to assess the effectiveness and purpose of your secret sister program.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">3 Questions to Use to Assess Your Secret Sister Program<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ol style=\"list-style-type:1\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>How does this activity align with your ministry mission statement?<\/strong> We\u2019ve talked before about how your <a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/womens-ministry-mission-statement\/\">mission statement<\/a> should be used as a plumb line in making decisions that best serve your women. If the response is, it builds community and relationships, I\u2019d want them to explain how. As I mentioned, hiding your identity is an odd way to build relationships and community.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>How does this activity point women to God and the Word?<\/strong> Maybe your group encourages women to pray for one another, to share scripture, and to give gifts that are spiritual in nature. <em>That\u2019s good if that happens, but is there a better way?<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>How is God glorified? <\/strong>Secret sister programs can easily become about the gifts. Women compare what they have and haven\u2019t gotten with others in the program. We have to ask, what are we pointing women to?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>So perhaps, you\u2019re beginning to consider the idea that your secret sister program needs to be tweaked just a bit. What can you do to make it better?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Solutions and Alternatives to Secret Sister Programs<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ol style=\"list-style-type:1\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>First, <strong>clarify your goal<\/strong>. If it\u2019s encouragement, maybe you invite women to sign up to be prayer partners once a quarter. If it\u2019s growing in relationship with one another, maybe a <a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/mentoring-programs-resources\/\">mentoring program<\/a> would be a better option.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Consider one-time events that bless participants.<\/strong> Some churches host Galentine Events and Christmas events that invite (but do not require) women to bring a $5 or $10 gift for a gift exchange. Check out this post on <a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/how-to-host-a-gift-exchange\/\">How to Host a Gift Exchange<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/gift-exchange-theme-ideas\/\">28 Gift Exchange Theme Ideas<\/a> \u2013 many of which point women to Christ. <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>If your heart\u2019s desire is for women to grow in their relationship with one another while growing in their relationship with God <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/difference-between-discipleship-bible-studies-and-mentoring\/\">discipleship groups<\/a><\/strong> could provide a better path toward achieving that goal. You\u2019ll find many additional posts on discipleship on the <a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/blog\/\">Women\u2019s Ministry Toolbox blog<\/a>.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>If your desire is less Bible study or more relational, maybe <a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/sister-six\/\">Sister Six groups<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/fellowship-idea-guess-whos-coming-to-dinner\/\">Guess Who\u2019s Coming to Dinner<\/a>, or <a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/making-room-groups\/\">Making Room Groups<\/a> provide a <strong>better framework for building relationships<\/strong> among the women in your church. <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Cultivate a community that organically encourages one another. <\/strong>What if you regularly encouraged women to reach out to those they know need some encouragement \u2013 widows, single moms, moms with newborns, college students, women on the church\u2019s prayer list, those with chronic illnesses, homebound, the missionaries your church supports, and any others that would be blessed by an encouraging text, card, or care package. What if 2-3 times per year you gathered together to send care packages to different groups such as college students, military personnel, and missionaries? The focus of your ministry year could be on loving one another well.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">In some ways, a secret sister program isn\u2019t big enough! Its reach is limited to those who participate in a specific season.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>It\u2019s not a bad idea, but there are many better ideas<\/strong> that would reach a larger group of women in your church and community.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As I type this post, I\u2019m wearing a t-shirt from <a href=\"https:\/\/solagratia.co\/collections\/encouragement-week-23\/products\/649a642e3746c4001154f5a7?variant=45607275921707\">Sola Gratia Co.<\/a> that says, \u201cWe love because He first loved us.\u201d 1 John 4:19. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Our love doesn\u2019t win souls or save souls, only Christ\u2019s love does. We miss the mark when we make it about us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>You may also want to read:<\/strong><br><a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/how-to-host-a-gift-exchange\/\">How to Host a Gift Exchange<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/48nOq9x\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener sponsored nofollow\">28 Gift Exchange Ideas<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/4pCcUD8\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener sponsored nofollow\">Women&#8217;s Ministry Essentials: How to Build and Sustain a Thriving Christian Community<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Below you&#8217;ll find the show notes for episode 71, Secret Sister Programs: Challenges, Solutions, and Alternatives, from the Women&#8217;s Ministry Toolbox Podcast. Please note: This post contains affiliate links. I\u2019m continuing the series on Hot Topics and Hot Takes with a hot take on secret sister programs. If you\u2019ve read my book, Women&#8217;s Ministry Essentials,&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14462,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[585],"tags":[137,41,678],"class_list":["post-14461","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-event-planning","tag-encouragement-2","tag-fellowship","tag-secret-sister"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Secret Sister Programs: Challenges, Solutions, and Alternatives - Women&#039;s Ministry Toolbox<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Is your secret sister program missing the mark? Let\u2019s talk about the challenges, solutions, and alternatives to better build community.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Secret Sister Programs: Challenges, Solutions, and Alternatives - Women&#039;s Ministry Toolbox\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Is your secret sister program missing the mark? Let\u2019s talk about the challenges, solutions, and alternatives to better build community.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Women&#039;s Ministry Toolbox\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/womensministrytoolbox\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/womensministrytoolbox\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-09-13T07:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-01-11T18:57:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"900\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Cyndee Ownbey\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Cyndee Ownbey\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Cyndee Ownbey\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/#\/schema\/person\/fba2b11e834dc2bdc12af12e5bfd0a93\"},\"headline\":\"Secret Sister Programs: Challenges, Solutions, and Alternatives\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-09-13T07:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-01-11T18:57:26+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/\"},\"wordCount\":1200,\"commentCount\":7,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png\",\"keywords\":[\"encouragement\",\"fellowship\",\"secret sister\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Event Planning\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/\",\"name\":\"Secret Sister Programs: Challenges, Solutions, and Alternatives - Women&#039;s Ministry Toolbox\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-09-13T07:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-01-11T18:57:26+00:00\",\"description\":\"Is your secret sister program missing the mark? Let\u2019s talk about the challenges, solutions, and alternatives to better build community.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png\",\"width\":600,\"height\":900,\"caption\":\"Is your secret sister program missing the mark? Let\u2019s talk about the challenges, solutions, and alternatives for secret sister programs so we can truly build community, encourage one another, and grow in Christ together!\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Secret Sister Programs: Challenges, Solutions, and Alternatives\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/\",\"name\":\"Women&#039;s Ministry Toolbox\",\"description\":\"Equipping leaders to cultivate a Christ-focused community\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Women's Ministry Toolbox\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/2018-updated-logo.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/2018-updated-logo.png\",\"width\":1835,\"height\":373,\"caption\":\"Women's Ministry Toolbox\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/womensministrytoolbox\/\",\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/womensministrytoolbox\/\",\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCcQugH6PwvfEKNar0j96hxA\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/#\/schema\/person\/fba2b11e834dc2bdc12af12e5bfd0a93\",\"name\":\"Cyndee Ownbey\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/648c9031f0a4dd2406b75950ce961f2a2fba77b41c3404d4f0fd97a493ead119?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/648c9031f0a4dd2406b75950ce961f2a2fba77b41c3404d4f0fd97a493ead119?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/648c9031f0a4dd2406b75950ce961f2a2fba77b41c3404d4f0fd97a493ead119?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Cyndee Ownbey\"},\"description\":\"Serving in Women's Ministry for 15 years, I am passionate about equipping and encouraging other leaders. I thank God for His calling into Women's Ministry leadership. I long to reach more women, providing them with opportunities for growth and service. I am a wife and mother to two boys (teen and tween) and a spoiled miniature Schnauzer.\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\",\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/womensministrytoolbox\",\"https:\/\/x.com\/wmtoolbox\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Secret Sister Programs: Challenges, Solutions, and Alternatives - Women&#039;s Ministry Toolbox","description":"Is your secret sister program missing the mark? Let\u2019s talk about the challenges, solutions, and alternatives to better build community.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Secret Sister Programs: Challenges, Solutions, and Alternatives - Women&#039;s Ministry Toolbox","og_description":"Is your secret sister program missing the mark? Let\u2019s talk about the challenges, solutions, and alternatives to better build community.","og_url":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/","og_site_name":"Women&#039;s Ministry Toolbox","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/womensministrytoolbox\/","article_author":"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/womensministrytoolbox","article_published_time":"2023-09-13T07:00:00+00:00","article_modified_time":"2026-01-11T18:57:26+00:00","og_image":[{"width":600,"height":900,"url":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Cyndee Ownbey","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Cyndee Ownbey","Est. reading time":"6 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/"},"author":{"name":"Cyndee Ownbey","@id":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/#\/schema\/person\/fba2b11e834dc2bdc12af12e5bfd0a93"},"headline":"Secret Sister Programs: Challenges, Solutions, and Alternatives","datePublished":"2023-09-13T07:00:00+00:00","dateModified":"2026-01-11T18:57:26+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/"},"wordCount":1200,"commentCount":7,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png","keywords":["encouragement","fellowship","secret sister"],"articleSection":["Event Planning"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/","url":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/","name":"Secret Sister Programs: Challenges, Solutions, and Alternatives - Women&#039;s Ministry Toolbox","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png","datePublished":"2023-09-13T07:00:00+00:00","dateModified":"2026-01-11T18:57:26+00:00","description":"Is your secret sister program missing the mark? Let\u2019s talk about the challenges, solutions, and alternatives to better build community.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png","width":600,"height":900,"caption":"Is your secret sister program missing the mark? Let\u2019s talk about the challenges, solutions, and alternatives for secret sister programs so we can truly build community, encourage one another, and grow in Christ together!"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Secret Sister Programs: Challenges, Solutions, and Alternatives"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/","name":"Women&#039;s Ministry Toolbox","description":"Equipping leaders to cultivate a Christ-focused community","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/#organization","name":"Women's Ministry Toolbox","url":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/2018-updated-logo.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/2018-updated-logo.png","width":1835,"height":373,"caption":"Women's Ministry Toolbox"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/womensministrytoolbox\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/womensministrytoolbox\/","https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCcQugH6PwvfEKNar0j96hxA"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/#\/schema\/person\/fba2b11e834dc2bdc12af12e5bfd0a93","name":"Cyndee Ownbey","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/648c9031f0a4dd2406b75950ce961f2a2fba77b41c3404d4f0fd97a493ead119?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/648c9031f0a4dd2406b75950ce961f2a2fba77b41c3404d4f0fd97a493ead119?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/648c9031f0a4dd2406b75950ce961f2a2fba77b41c3404d4f0fd97a493ead119?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Cyndee Ownbey"},"description":"Serving in Women's Ministry for 15 years, I am passionate about equipping and encouraging other leaders. I thank God for His calling into Women's Ministry leadership. I long to reach more women, providing them with opportunities for growth and service. I am a wife and mother to two boys (teen and tween) and a spoiled miniature Schnauzer.","sameAs":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com","http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/womensministrytoolbox","https:\/\/x.com\/wmtoolbox"]}]}},"author_meta":{"display_name":"Cyndee Ownbey","author_link":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/author\/womensministrytoolboxgmail-com\/"},"featured_img":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives-200x300.png","featured_image_src":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives-600x400.png","featured_image_src_square":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives-600x600.png","author_info":{"display_name":"Cyndee Ownbey","author_link":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/author\/womensministrytoolboxgmail-com\/"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",600,900,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives-150x150.png",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives-200x300.png",200,300,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",600,900,false],"large":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",600,900,false],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",600,900,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",600,900,false],"gb-block-post-grid-landscape":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives-600x400.png",600,400,true],"gb-block-post-grid-square":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives-600x600.png",600,600,true],"extra-large":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",600,900,false],"mv_create_1x1":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",133,200,false],"mv_create_1x1_medium_res":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",213,320,false],"mv_create_1x1_medium_high_res":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",320,480,false],"mv_create_1x1_high_res":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",480,720,false],"mv_create_4x3":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",160,240,false],"mv_create_4x3_medium_res":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",240,360,false],"mv_create_4x3_high_res":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",360,540,false],"mv_create_3x4":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",213,320,false],"mv_create_3x4_medium_res":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",320,480,false],"mv_create_3x4_high_res":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",480,720,false],"mv_create_16x9":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",120,180,false],"mv_create_16x9_medium_res":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",180,270,false],"mv_create_16x9_high_res":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",270,405,false],"mv_create_no_ratio":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",600,900,false],"mv_create_vert":["https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives.png",600,900,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Cyndee Ownbey","author_link":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/author\/womensministrytoolboxgmail-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":7,"uagb_excerpt":"Below you&#8217;ll find the show notes for episode 71, Secret Sister Programs: Challenges, Solutions, and Alternatives, from the Women&#8217;s Ministry Toolbox Podcast. Please note: This post contains affiliate links. I\u2019m continuing the series on Hot Topics and Hot Takes with a hot take on secret sister programs. If you\u2019ve read my book, Women&#8217;s Ministry Essentials,&hellip;","coauthors":[],"tax_additional":{"categories":{"linked":["<a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/category\/event-planning\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Event Planning<\/a>"],"unlinked":["<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">Event Planning<\/span>"]},"tags":{"linked":["<a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/category\/event-planning\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">encouragement<\/a>","<a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/category\/event-planning\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">fellowship<\/a>","<a href=\"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/category\/event-planning\/\" class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">secret sister<\/a>"],"unlinked":["<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">encouragement<\/span>","<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">fellowship<\/span>","<span class=\"advgb-post-tax-term\">secret sister<\/span>"]}},"comment_count":"7","relative_dates":{"created":"Posted 3 years ago","modified":"Updated 3 months ago"},"absolute_dates":{"created":"Posted on September 13, 2023","modified":"Updated on January 11, 2026"},"absolute_dates_time":{"created":"Posted on September 13, 2023 3:00 am","modified":"Updated on January 11, 2026 1:57 pm"},"featured_img_caption":"","series_order":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"mv":{"thumbnail_id":14462,"thumbnail_uri":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Secret-Sister-Programs-Challenges-Solutions-and-Alternatives-200x300.png"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14461","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14461"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14461\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15123,"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14461\/revisions\/15123"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14462"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14461"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14461"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/womensministrytoolbox.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14461"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}