Comments on: Secret Sister Programs: Challenges, Solutions, and Alternatives https://womensministrytoolbox.com/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives Equipping leaders to cultivate a Christ-focused community Sun, 11 Jan 2026 18:57:26 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 By: Cyndee Ownbey https://womensministrytoolbox.com/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives/#comment-80579 Thu, 11 Dec 2025 01:08:56 +0000 https://womensministrytoolbox.com/?p=14461#comment-80579 In reply to Dee Rice.

Dee, thank you for sharing your experience. I think that would be a great conversation to have with your women’s ministry director. She may know more about her specific situation and can share whether or not that would be appropriate. Praying she’ll be able to guide you best.

]]> By: Dee Rice https://womensministrytoolbox.com/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives/#comment-80576 Tue, 02 Dec 2025 07:04:24 +0000 https://womensministrytoolbox.com/?p=14461#comment-80576 Last years secret sister was very fun. I debated whether to participate this year being my second time. I decided to attend the kick off / reveal luncheon this year. I was delighted to draw the name being my pastors wife. I will definitely enjoy loving up on her with prayers, cards and small gifts. Delma I received a note from the director of the womens ministry saying the lady who had my name was going through some unforeseen things and I may not have heard from her yet. I did hear from her, she left a giant gift bag under the secret sister table for me. When I got home I took out 3 items from the gift bag. I used puzzle, a two tier wooden object made from balsa wood ( spelling?) that wobbled after I tried putting it together which I don’t ever see using, last item was a large plastic open bin used for storing shoes or potatoes. The bin had various hair and glitter in it. I’m sure her intent was good and she wanted to gift me something from her means. I took the items to the donation box in my basement and wrote her a thank you for thinking of me card. Because she is going through some kind of hardship I would prefer she didn’t feel obligated to gift me in the future, rather leave a note from time to time. Would that be rude to convey that to her with love? And how would I communicate that to her?

]]> By: Ouida https://womensministrytoolbox.com/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives/#comment-80522 Tue, 19 Aug 2025 22:00:30 +0000 https://womensministrytoolbox.com/?p=14461#comment-80522 In reply to Kylie.

Great idea. Thank you.

]]> By: Cyndee Ownbey https://womensministrytoolbox.com/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives/#comment-79240 Mon, 01 Jan 2024 14:31:05 +0000 https://womensministrytoolbox.com/?p=14461#comment-79240 In reply to Kylie.

What a great alternative! Thanks so much for sharing! 🙂

]]> By: Kylie https://womensministrytoolbox.com/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives/#comment-79234 Wed, 27 Dec 2023 21:47:22 +0000 https://womensministrytoolbox.com/?p=14461#comment-79234 I’ve been looking for an alternative to secret sister, because of many of the issues you pointed out!
This year we’re going to try something different. Each month we will have 2 “spotlight ladies” (still working on the name). In our group chat each month I’ll post 2 ladies and some information about them. A few favorite things, prayer requests, etc… , and everyone is encouraged to reach out and build relationships with them that month. Leave a card or a small gift if they feel led to. But focus on praying for them and getting to know them.
My hope is it will cultivate relationships between women, when someone can’t financially buy a gift it’s okay because no one feels left out. As new ladies come in or someone moves we can easily add and subtract.

]]> By: Cyndee Ownbey https://womensministrytoolbox.com/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives/#comment-79023 Thu, 14 Sep 2023 00:27:45 +0000 https://womensministrytoolbox.com/?p=14461#comment-79023 In reply to Diann Morris.

Diann, please, please take it to the Lord in prayer. Perhaps He’ll lead you to make some small changes such as I mentioned above. As I said, it’s not a bad program, but it may not serve the purpose of your women’s ministry as well as it could. Praying you’ll follow the Lord’s leading and that He’ll make clear your next steps. <3

]]> By: Diann Morris https://womensministrytoolbox.com/secret-sister-programs-challenges-solutions-and-alternatives/#comment-79020 Wed, 13 Sep 2023 19:14:18 +0000 https://womensministrytoolbox.com/?p=14461#comment-79020 After the WMU disbanded several years ago, it seemed that we had nothing in our church for the women in our church. We have a great children’s ministry and a pretty good youth ministry, but really nothing for the adults.
I started a Secret Sister’s group about 4 years ago. We have had some ups and downs and I have wondered if people were really interested or not. I do a great deal of work preparing for the meeting and spend my own money for prizes and refreshments.
However, after reading your post which basically says that the Secret Sister’s group is not a good thing, I believe that I will stop it at the end of this year’s time. However, there is nothing else in our church to take up the slack and I am not going to start anything else.

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